THE CLEANING LADY

When I first arrived in Dubai I had a hard time finding a reliable cleaning lady.  I tried cleaning companies, which were good but were never available at a convenient time.  There were a couple of ladies who came recommended but they just didn’t work out.    I was having no luck finding the right person.  I had finally decided to do it myself when one day there was a knock on my door.  This lovely woman was standing there asking me if I was looking for help.  She had heard through the “community grapevine” that I had no one working for me (their community was very close knit.  They all knew everything about every house in the neighborhood).  I told her that I would give her a trial and we would see how it goes.  I liked her presentation and I had an instinct about her that told me it was a good decision.  I also did want to hire someone as I felt that it was our way of giving back by offering these people work.  I needed some help but they really needed a job.  Most of the people I came across in these situations were supporting entire families back in their home countries.  Dammi was her name.  She started immediately and came twice a week for about one month.  Things were going great until one day she told me that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to work for me anymore.  Oh no!  The owners of the house where she and her family were living had decided to move to an apartment and this meant that Dammi and her family would have to move, as well.  This was going to be difficult for them.  They had lived in that house for at least 5 years and they were a family.  Yes, most homes in Dubai are equipped with maids quarters but it is only a room and a shower.  It is also very difficult to find a family who is will to take a man into the home.  I was disappointed, as things with her were going very well.  She told me that she’d keep me posted but I should probably think about trying to find someone else.

The next time she came to clean, she had noticed that I was throwing away an iron.  A fancy one, at that. It wasn’t working anymore but she had asked if she could have it and try to fix it.  I said yes and I offered to take it to her place as it was very heavy.  She told me where she lived and I brought it by the next day.   To my surprise, an adorable  little girl opened the door and was looking at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life.  She was so polite and chatted very nicely with me.  Meeting this little girl just made my day.  Her name was Thilansa.  I believe that she was around 5 at that time.  We chatted for a few minutes and she told me about herself.  She was absolutely adorable.  So smart and so enthusiastic about life.  I handed over the iron and went on my merry way.  I was so touched by this family.  They had a kindness and warmth about them and I felt happy to have found them.  

When Dammi came to work a few days later, we talked about Thilansa and what a special child she was.  She just radiated light and she was so smart.  On that same day, Dammi pointed out to me that we weren’t using our maid’s quarters that was just off the kitchen.  I looked at her and asked “are you asking me if you can move in here”? .  I was pretty sure that Nic would say no  but I promised to ask him.  She explained to me how they could make a room out of half of the garage (which we didn’t use for our cars) and that they would have the bedroom and the bathroom which was in the maids room.  She was sure it would work and she knew many people who had done it in the past.   She offered to work every day for free and be available to watch our dog if ever we needed help with that.  That was the bonus ball.  I spoke to Nic and he said yes.  I couldn’t believe it.  The next day, the whole family came to our house to present themselves.  They were nicely dressed and very polite.  We offered them to have a seat and they almost didn’t want to sit on our furniture as if they didn’t belong there.  Dammi’s husband, Manju was as nice as the rest of them and we needed no convincing that this family would be a blessing to have living under the same roof.  We were not wrong.  It was a win-win for all of us. 

As it would turn out, little Thilansa and I would become good friends.  When Pia was out, I would invite her into the house to watch TV and often we would play Mancala together.  Over time, I offered Dammi to take her on Tuesday afternoons while Pia was having her Italian lessons.  It was fun for. Me and it was a nice break for Dammi.  I would help Thilansa with her homework or take her out to a park or whatever she wanted to do.  She loved to show me things that she could do.  She loved going to the pool and she was a really good little swimmer.  I really liked her and she seemed to really enjoy our time together.  I just fell in love with this little girl.  

Sadly, our time in Dubai was short lived but to this day, we still write emails back and forth.  Dammi and her family recently left Dubai and moved back to Sri Lanka.  They seem very happy and I hope to see them again some day.  Perhaps I’ll even get Thilansa over to visit me so that she can discover another part of the world.  She told me that she wanted to be a doctor when she was older.    She is such a smart little girl.  I can’t wait to see what she does.  

This was the first experience in my life where I was confronted with people from such poor countries.  To see what they were willing to do just to make ends meet.  Most of these people were uneducated.  They had no choices but they were hard workers and they took such pride in their work.  They like working for us “westerners” because we treat them like humans.  Where they are from, this is not the case. They are treated worse than dogs.  I’d never seen this before in my life and it really was an eye opener.  They are known as the untouchables.  It’s worth googling.